Ava is almost 2 years and 5 months!! That sounds crazy when I write it and time is flying by as usual.
I haven’t done an update in a while but I felt the need to. She’s become such a smart, caring, fun little girl and I can’t get enough of her.
My love is strong but to be honest these last 5 or so months have been some of the most challenging days for me.
Not only is my strong willed, independent girl getting smarter, she’s getting wiser, she’s learning how to talk back to mama, how to manipulate daddy, and knows how to push ALL of my buttons.
I mean buttons I never knew I had!!!
They call this phase THE TERRIBLE TWO’S
All you moms out there know what I’m talking about.
Ava is a ball of energy and I knew that from day one. She’s a firecracker and I LOVE IT. I couldn’t imagine her sitting still because that’s not me. I always heard about the Terrible two’s from my mom and other moms. I also experienced it when I was out at stores, malls, and kid activities and watched other parents deal with crazy toddlers. I thought to myself, my sweet little girl would never fit the bill.
The terrible twos are real though and well, I was wrong.
Everything I’ve seen other parents have to deal with has happened to me. My toddler runs away from me, she’s hit me in the face, she says no and yells really loud in stores when she doesn’t get her way. She rolls on the floor and causes a scene and will pretty much throw a tantrum if you don’t give her what she wants. Basically she’s embarrassed me and I was blindsided by the whole thing.
I know it all. The kicking and screaming sounds bad, and believe me, it is. But it doesn’t happen all day long. It happens when Ava is tired, hungry, doesn’t feel well or has to use the bathroom.
Although her vocabulary is AMAZING she still has a difficult time communicating to me. So as a parent I have recognized her BAD behavior happens when she’s trying to tell me something.
I’ve tried many different ways to handle her TERRIBLE behavior and some things work one day and different things work on another.
Handling the terrible two’s:
- at home I can walk away from her if she is crying/screaming/causing a scene that doesn’t need my acknowledgment.
- I kneel down next to her and tell her I know she’s frustrated but if she needs help or wants to tell me something she can. If she continues the tantrum I will ask her yes or no questions. Do you need to pee? are you hungry? Are you tired? Sometimes she will answer
- Ava has hit me several times, a couple times when she needed to go to the bathroom. In those situations I told her we don’t hit, we hug. If something is the matter you need to use your words to tell me.
- Ava is a runner. She has run away from me at the YMCA and on playgrounds/parks. This one scares me. When it’s a dangerous situation I have to pick her up and let her kick and flail her arms because I don’t want her to get hurt. I have tried using words like “stop your feet” or freeze but she hasn’t responded well to those just yet. If I say “let me see you walk slow” she sometimes will listen.
Now… this list can go on and on and while I try to keep my reactions calm and approach her with a calm tone it doesn’t always play out that way. I’m human, I lose my patience and she pushes those buttons I was talking about.
Some days she pushes those buttons too many times and I need to yell. It usually NEVER makes the situation better but my body almost needs to let it out. Sometimes she gets time outs in her crib and when we are home I find that to be most effective. It lets her cool off and I get a break for a minute or two until she’s calm and I go in and talk to her. She sees me and says “sorry mommy” and gives me a hug. It’s always the best hug and I know we both feel so much better.
Lately I have been reading a lot of other mom blogs and blogs that discuss parenting, different approaches, and just funny blogs that make me laugh about the Terrible Two’s.
In the end I know I’m doing the best job I possibly can and that I am truly a good mom. But believe me I’ve had my doubts and sometimes you need the bad days to appreciate the good ones!!
I’m thrilled to say that over the past 2 weeks my healthy Ava has been a GREAT listener and has been making me more proud each day. A happy healthy kid is all I want and when she’s happy she’s so much fun to be around!